Ingredients

• Tofu, extra firm. 4 packages.
• Bread, homemade or a loaf of your choice. (Best with fluffy breads and not the sliced variety) Cubed and dried. 2-4 cups.
• Nutritional Yeast. 1/8 cup.
• Onion. 1 large, diced.
• Garlic. 6 cloves.
• Celery. 2-3 stalks.
• Mushrooms, whatever sort you like the most. Shiitake is good. Maitake is mega, too. Chopped. 1 cup.
• Vegetable Broth. 1/2 cup (approximately).
• Tamari. 1/4 cup for sauce and 1 tablespoon for tofu.
• Mustard. Dijon. 2.5 tablespoons.
• Maple Syrup. 1 teaspoon.
• Olive oil. 1 tablespoon for sauce and 1 tablespoon for tofu. As well as a little bit for frying.
• Salt
• The Simon and Garfunkel herbs:
  • Parsley. 2 teaspoons.
  • Sage. 1 tablespoon.
  • Rosemary. 1 teaspoon.
  • Thyme. 1.5 teaspoons.
• Wax Paper
• Tin Foil
• Colander
• Large Bowl
• Immersion Blender

Process

Prep:

• It is best to cube the bread and set it out to firm up overnight. But, it’s also an option to bake it in the oven on a low heat (around 250F or 120C) until it’s crisp. Check it at 15 minutes and then every 5 if that wasn’t long enough.
• If you don’t have a tofu press, you should probably get one. But if you still don’t want to then you’ll need to drain your tofu overnight or at least a few hours before cooking. You do that by putting paper towels around the tofu and something heavy on top. You’ll have to change the paper towels out. If you have a press, you’ll still need about 10 minutes per block, so be prepared for that.

Sauce/Glaze:

• Mix together the tamari, mustard, maple syrup, and olive oil. Whisk it together with a fork to make it cohesive.

Stuffing:

1. In a large frypan, fry the mushrooms in a bit of oil. Pressing on them as they fry.
2. Add in onion and garlic once mushroom are soft.
3. When onion and garlic are transparent, add in salt, parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme. Stir well and quickly.
4. Add celery and enough broth to keep everything from sticking to the bottom of the pan. This is about 1/8 cup of broth at first, and perhaps a bit later.
5. Fry for about 10 minutes.
6. Add bread.
7. Add as much more broth is needed to keep the mixture from sticking or burning. You don’t want soup or batter, but you also don’t want anything to burn.

Roast:

1. Preheat the oven to 350F (180C)
2. Crumble the pressed tofu and put in a large mixing bowl.
3. Add nutritional yeast, olive oil, and 3 cloves of garlic.
4. Use an immersion blender to blend together. (If you don’t have one, you can try and smash all of this together with the back of a wooden spoon but there is no guarantee on how well it’ll stay together.)

5. Line a colander or another large mixing bowl with wax paper. Two pieces so that the entirety of the vessel is covered.
6. Scoop the blended tofu in to the lined colander or bowl and form it to the shape of the bowl.
7. Dig out the inside of this blob of tofu in order to make it really like a bowl. Place the scooped out part on to a plate. You want the walls of the tofu bowl to be about an inch (2.5cm) thick.
8. Spoon the stuffing mix in to the tofu bowl. Gently pack it down as you do so, and do not overflow the bowl.
9. Seal off the stuffing with the tofu you have sitting on a plate.

10. Now you shall perform a grand trick:
    1. Place your greased baking sheet greased-side-down on top of your colander with the tofu blob.
    2. Put one hand on the baking pan and the other under the tofu colander.
    3. Steady yourself and take a deep breath.
    4. In one swift motion, invert the baking pan and colander.
    5. Carefully remove the colander.
    6. Very carefully remove the wax paper.
11. Use your hands to gently squish the blob in to a more solid form. Like making a snowman.

12. With a basting brush, brush about half of the sauce on to this giant mushroom-head looking thing.
13. Cover in tin foil (2 sheets) gently.

14. Bake for 1 hour.
15. Remove from the oven, remove the tin foil, brush the second half of the sauce.

16. Bake for another hour.
17. Cut it like a pie and you are done.

Notes

• There are different shape options for this roast. Years ago, I made my first tofu roast in a log shape. This recipe will probably make two logs. But there are other ways to be innovative. Maybe use a pie dish, maybe make minis in a cupcake tin. Or just individual blobs for everyone. I am aware that it isn’t the most attractive look.
• You could also embrace the mushroom top look.
• As always, I don’t measure my ingredients really and I just guess, so this may need more salt, more tamari, or less broth depending. Also, the bread is definitely dealer’s choice.
• It follows that fun tradition of having a holiday meal that takes all day to cook if that’s what you’re looking for.
• Cranberries. Cranberries would probably be an amazing addition to the stuffing. Someone try that and get back to me.
• You can use whatever stuffing recipe you like, really.
• You know what would also probably be a good addition? Miso.

-Vegan and Sesame Free

-Inspired by all the winter holiday traditions of the USA

-Uses the top protective herbs in the business. This is truly a meal of good tidings.